Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Maladaptive Beliefs

This is a basic list of the maladaptive beliefs I have come to hold over years of abuse and mistreatment. Please do not in any way feel obligated to argue as to why these are untrue. I know that they are not realistic beliefs to have and it is a long process to destroy them. Thank you for wanting to try and help, though.

  • I am worthless.
  • I'm not good enough.
  • Everybody leaves me.
  • Why try because I always fail.
  • I'm selfish.
  • I'm a horrible person.
  • I'm ugly.
  • I'm a burden to everyone.
  • I do nothing/get nothing done.
  • If I am wrong, the consequences are always dire.
  • Nothing will ever get better.
  • If people don't show me they love me, then they really don't.
  • If I say I am good at something, that makes me arrogant.
  • No one cares about what I am going through.
  • The important things to me don't matter.
  • I can't do anything right.
  • Everyone would be better off without me.
  • I am being punished.
  • I deserve to be punished.
  • If we fight, they won't love me anymore.
  • I'm not safe anywhere
  • If I trust people, they will betray me.
  • Confrontation is dangerous. 
  • If people have a bad opinion of me then they must be right because they can't see things I don't/can't.
  • Letting others know I am feeling bad is a weakness.
  • My friends and family really don't want to hear about how I am feeling.
  • Losing control of my emotions makes me a bad person.
  • If people don't agree with how I feel, then I shouldn't feel that way.
  • I am not allowed to feel I have been wronged by people.
  • I don't deserve what I want/need.
  • Making requests is selfish.
  • The problem is all in my head/I am crazy.
  • Saying no to people will show what a bad/selfish person I am.
  • I will lose people if I ask for what I want/need.
  • Asking for what I want/need will always end in an argument.
  • Getting upset means I am acting like a child.
  • I am not worthy/don't deserve love and respect.
  • I'm not wanted/needed by anyone.
  • All of my ideas are stupid.
  • I will never amount to anything.
  • I deserve to be abused.
  • I will never be safe as long as I am with myself.


  1. I can really relate to a lot of these things. For example if I have a fight with someone, I feel like we aren't friends anymore, or I feel awkward around them. The same thing goes if I piss someone off.

  2. I think so many of us have this same list running through our heads. I am so glad that you know these are not true and unfortunately it takes so much longer to unlearn these ideals than it did to learn them. For me it took until last year. 33 years of believing these negative horrible things about myself. I so wish I had learned the truth earlier in my life. Maybe by writing these out it will help others to see that they aren't these things either and maybe they can learn even earlier than we did. wonderful post Emi!